The Battle of the Invisible Friends (aka "Supreme Being Smackdown")

[dianeduane]

Can things get any dumber? Don’t answer that question.

 "There are millions of people around this world praying to their God -- whether it's Hindu, Buddha, Allah -- that [McCain's] opponent wins for a variety of reasons," Pastor Arnold Conrad said. "And, Lord, I pray that you would guard your own reputation, because they're going to think that their god is bigger than you, if that happens."

(eyeroll) It’s like something out of a commercial jingle. “My God’s better than your God, my God’s better than yours…” I leave it to others to tease out the five or six hilarious and possibly offensive assumptions and logical fallacies underpinning the above statements.  …But the whole thing factors down to: Please, God, don’t embarrass us. Is it just me, or is there something extremely wrong with that entire line of reasoning…and this guy — a clergyman — doesn’t even see it?

Also:  has it genuinely never occurred to this cleric that somewhere in America there might possibly be someone praying to the very same God he’s (theoretically) praying to that the Unnamed Opponent should win?  And that (to take a slightly different tack) if it turns out to happen that way, that this would — in his theology — be because of his very own God’s will, not as the result of some sublime hyperdimensional WWF match? …No, probably if that concept crept into the guy's head, said head would explode. Was he perhaps trying to be funny? If so, FAIL.

…And here again we have this weirdness about not naming the other guy even at a distance, let alone when he’s standing six feet away. (“That one?” Tsk tsk.)  I mean, surely there’s no point in not-naming even the Lone Power (click here for his version of the icon to the right) or Voldemort when they’re already sitting there waiting for you to finish speaking. Strikes me as rude.

I really, really wish I could just stop reading the news until sometime in December. (mutter) I also really wish I could email stuff like this to C.S. Lewis. Imagine the response.

 

ETA: I found the Ken-L-Ration jingle on this page. Check it out: there's a ton more period stuff there, on numerous pages.)

Comments

[masonk.livejournal.com]

"Thank you, Lord, for giving me such material to work with?"

[dewline.livejournal.com]

Now there's a Comedian's Prayer if ever it's been written!

[wolfette]

(eyeroll) It’s like something out of a commercial jingle. “My God’s better than your God, my God’s better than yours…”

Or a bunch of five year olds in the playground.

[trialia]

*G* See, this? This is one of the big things that makes me proud to be Unitarian. We don't do that. *rolls eyes at people who do*

[zanda-myrande.livejournal.com]

It does seem a little strange. Presumably he thinks there are other gods, and that they are on Obama's side, and that it matters that his god beat them. That's him out of the Christian church, then. As far as I remember they still frown on Manichaeanism and such like.

But I have no problem with McCain or Palin referring to their opponent, Senator Barack Obama, as "the other guy." Because it makes them look as if they can't remember his name. It makes them look addled. It makes them look dotty. And even if it didn't make them look any of those things, it would still be a stupid idea.

Frankly, if that's the calibre of the advice they're getting, I'm a lot less pessimistic about this election than I was.

[geekosaur]

Yeh, noticed that right away. One G-d = One G-d, not "my god's better than yours". Hello "pastor", unclear on the concept much?

[ghotitank.livejournal.com]

"sublime hyperdimensional WWF match"

That is the kind of thought that will keep me giggling all day long

[jerel.livejournal.com]

So that leads to the question, what do they throw in the ring? Hyperdimensional chairs?

[idonotlikepeas]

What he did actually say was 'There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, "All right, then, have it your way."'

[randysmith]

Well, I don't disagree with you, but the whole idea of prayer seems a little silly to me. I mean, presumably my God(dess) knows substantially better than I what their will is, and what consequences will be best for accomplishing that--what's the point of petitionary prayer? But I think I'm in the minority on that opinion.

[geekosaur]

Oddly enough, the Talmud addresses that one: "of course G-d knows your heart already; the point of prayer is its effect on the pray-er." It's supposed to lead you to focus on the things you are putatively asking G-d to do.

(OTOH that often gets lost under a flood of post-Talmudic Kabbalah claptrap.)

[semiramis.livejournal.com]

It strikes me that there's a certain lack of parallelism in that list... but I suppose I should be grateful that at least he didn't try to include "Confucius" in it. orz

"that one" actually sounded sort of affectionate...

[earthtomeryl.livejournal.com]

I totally agree about the God's will garbage. What the heck made somebody think that Pastor would lead his flock in any sort of sensible direction?

About the "that one" comment, though... I really don't think it was as insulting or weird as people make out. I've heard the phrase used before as a gentle tease, and from the clip I saw I'm fairly sure that's how McCain meant it.

[tammy-moore.livejournal.com]

...on a scale of one to ten, just how blasphemous is it that in my head Mary Magdalene is standing back holding Jesus' coat and screaming:

"C'mon, Jez, you can take 'em. Kick 'is head in! Geroninthere!"

[trialia]

WTF FIC PLZ. *evil grin*

[bynkii.livejournal.com]

BAAHAHA>...

Just remembered the rest of that jingle...


"My God's better 'cause he eats Ken-L-Ration, my God's better than yours!

New, Ken-L-Ration Deity Chow, available at grocery stores everywhere!"

[dduane.livejournal.com]

Yep. :)

(Though there's something to be said for the way "Ken-L-Ration God Chow" scans.)

[wiliqueen.livejournal.com]

That's not even a commercial jingle. It's a playground taunt.

I've never been so glad to be staring down the barrel of tech week with its nineteen-hour days in my life. Much easier to miss all but the highlights of the news. *sigh*

ETA: D'oh! Never mind. I had completely forgotten the Ken-L-Ration commercials...

[murphys-lawyer.livejournal.com]

God bless the King, I mean the faith's defender;
God bless - no harm in blessing - the Pretender;
But who Pretender is, or who is King,
God bless us all - that's quite another thing.

- John Byrom

[zianuray.livejournal.com]

"No, probably if that concept crept into the guy's head, said head would explode."

Yes please!

[pauamma]

Easy - since he mentioned praying to Allah (SWT), just tell him about Arabic-speaking Christians. :-)

[pauamma]

There's a religion that has a deity caled "Hindu"?

[dduane.livejournal.com]

(headclutch) In this guy's universe, apparently.

[heartsansraison.livejournal.com]

You really have been ex-pat for a while. Sadly, he wasn't trying to be funny and genuinely does operate under the theological viewpoint that his Dog is better than theirs. Twain's War Prayer comes to mind. And while I realize that morons exist everywhere, I'm at the point where I'm feeling very vicious toward my great grandparents for leaving Canada. I'd be willing to trade new morons for the kind who call Obama an Ay-rab or shout that he should be killed while cheering on McCain.

[cmdr-zoom.livejournal.com]

These people desperately need to read the War Prayer. Or have it read to them, if necessary.

[kayshapero]

I also really wish I could email stuff like this to C.S. Lewis. Imagine the response.

Oh yeah.... Y'know, it's probably 'bout time I reread the Screwtape Letters.

[kvaadk.livejournal.com]

Oi.
Christians don't do this.
Clergy or not, that guy's a fundamentalist -- and every religion has their quota. I cam be pretty philosophical about them when they're giving other religions a bad name. Gotta admit, tho, I get pissed when they show up in my faith.
And, for the record, I know a few dozen pastors who are praying for the opposite outcome.

[tielan]

He can't have been being funny. THESE PEOPLE HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOUR.

*facepalms*

It's just...ridiculous. Insane. STUPID. ARGH.

[starcat-jewel.livejournal.com]

"Do one thing for me, Sredni Vashtar." The thing was not specified; as Sredni Vashtar was a god, he must be supposed to know.

Now that was someone who knew how to pray.

[cmdr-zoom.livejournal.com]

Another was Conan, despite his claim that he had no tongue for it.

[the_rainbow_jen]

Have you ever read The War Prayer by Mark Twain? It's exactly what you're talking about. Dead on.

[tuilelindowen.livejournal.com]

What probably amuses or annoys me the most (sometimes it is a fine line between the two) is the Christian Right's insistence on the wisdom of the founding Fathers. If that were true then no way would they be making statements like that. There is a reason church and state were divided. Take Thomas Jefferson for example. He re-wrote the New Testament, creating the Jefferson Bible (http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/religion/jesus/jefferson.html) -- a task which he described to John Adams as:

"abstracting what is really his [Jesus] from the rubbish in which it is buried, easily distinguished by its lustre from the dross of his biographers, and as separate from that as the diamond from the dung hill."

When I have pointed this out to Fundamentalist acquaintances of mine they have called me an outright liar. So we're talking negligence and ignorance here. It would be funny if it weren't so sad.

[stokerbramwell.livejournal.com]

It's things like this that make me DEEPLY sad that Lewis is no longer with us, because, by God, we NEED a voice of sanity in Christianity these days.

[kengr]

It’s like something out of a commercial jingle. “My God’s better than your God, my God’s better than yours…”

There's actually a filk. "My Ghod's Better than Your Ghod". I think it's in the NESFA Hymnal.

[dduane.livejournal.com]

Yeppers. It's based on the song from the Ken-L-Ration commercial.

Blech!

[carbonelle.livejournal.com]

And, Lord, I pray that you would guard your own reputation, because they're going to think that their god is bigger than you, if that happens."

"Please God, let "X" be elected" is bad enough from a pulpit, but that's just disgusting.

"Have mercy on our Country God" and "Thy Will Be Done" is a generous sufficiency for any pre-politico prayers, should a pastor be called on to speak before some rally or other.