Dear Person Or Persons Unknown: NO LOVE TO YOU...

[dianeduane]

...for, sometime between the hours of 2 and 7:30 AM local time:

 

Failing to negotiate the curve in the road just east of our house...

 

 

 

 

 

 

...flying across the road, over the fieldstone wall and through the hedge...

 

 

 

 

...into the paddock next to the house, through it and the fence between them...

 

 

 

 

..and into our front yard, where you rammed into our house...

 

 

 

 

 

...and destroyed my biggest and most expensive plant pot, the one with the dragon on it, which I really really liked and was getting ready to plant a new apple tree in.

 

 

...After which you quietly opened the front gate, drove out, closed the gate behind you, and drove away.

...But you know what? You left us something else to remember you by...

Half your front number plate, and enough of your smashed front right headlight to know what kind of car you were driving. That's more than enough data for the Gardaí to identify you... and they'll be so interested to hear why you left the scene of an accident without calling them.

So, just in case you were wondering: you are now officially PWNED.

(Bwahahahahahahaha.)

Comments

[cat63.livejournal.com]

Rotten gits. I hope they get the book thrown at them. A nice heavy one with sharp corners.

[hopefulnebula]

Muahahahahahaha. Lovely to know the trouble they'll get into...

[replica.livejournal.com]

...well. that person sounds like they had quite an adventure. I hope they get what they deserve though >|

[miss-next.livejournal.com]

Good for you! I hope you have more joy than I did with the [insert epithet of your choice here] who knocked me off my bike a month ago and failed to stop, although he also lost his wing mirror in the process.

[liveavatar.livejournal.com]

This driver sounds like he or she had an experience similar to that of my roommate, who once while driving experienced (apologies in advance) an episode of projectile vomiting so violent that he opaqued his windshield and drove through a thick wall of bushes onto the Stanford Golf Course, magically missing the drainage ditch. Really, they couldn't figure out how he missed it; it's not as though he could see where he was driving.

But as someone else has already been said, my wish that the driver get nabbed eclipses my interest in his or her journey. If you ever find out what happened, at least it's grist for the writing mill.

[filkerdave.livejournal.com]

Maybe they want this plate instead? ;)

[pendlemac.livejournal.com]

Thank goodness they'd been slowed enough by the other things they'd hit that they didn't do major damage to the house or you and Peter.

[rebelsheart]

Oooh. Do let us know how that turns out please?

[dreagoddess.livejournal.com]

Ack! How frustrating. I'm just glad no one was hurt -- and good job on the detective work!

[natural20.livejournal.com]

I cannot think of any excuse for them fleeing the scene, at all, so I do hope the Gardai ask them all sorts of pointed questions and they pony up for the damage.

I do also hope that they're all ok, that can't have been a pleasant experience.

And I am, most of all, very glad that they only did minor damage (bar the plantpot) and that you guys are ok.

[djbp.livejournal.com]

Possible reasons for running, drink & or lack of insurance along with the ever popular TWOC

[navigatorsghost.livejournal.com]

Shit! I'm so glad you guys weren't hurt.

Looking forward to an update when they catch whoever-it-was. Dollars to donuts they were drink-driving...

[rdmaughan.livejournal.com]

I would guess that either they did not want to explain why they were drive that fast or why they were driving with that much blood alcohol or possibly both of these.

[dressagegrrrl.livejournal.com]

*Mouth agape*

Oh my god! What's WRONG with people???

[childthursday.livejournal.com]

I'm glad no one (human, feline or equine - since you mention paddock) was hurt, and sorry for the damage that occured. But I am also terribly amused by the fact that when they left, they closed the gate.. Fleeing the scene of the accident, but still trying to be relatively polite about it!

[manycolored.livejournal.com]

I got rear ended by an empty car when the 15-year-old drunk driver got out (neglecting to put it in park) to check the damage on the other car she had totalled when she ran a four-way stop sign going the wrong way down a one way street...

And your stupid driver story totally pwns mine! Ow, my bardic ego!

I am sorry for your dragon plant pot!

[crazyscot.livejournal.com]

Bleagh :( Hope they catch the perp(s). It's scarily reminiscent of the time a colleague sent an email round saying "sorry I'm not going to make it in today, somebody parked their car in my bay window last night" - which was something of a surprise for those of us who knew the position of their house by the road.

[akicif.livejournal.com]

I was just thinking of the LJ write-up of that very incident....

[xnamkrad.livejournal.com]

Gobshites - what speed where they doing? Sod the points and insurance - idiots like that need to a) have the car seized and never returned and b) banned from driving for the rest of their lives.
Hope they get caught and hauled in.

[drhoz.livejournal.com]

*evil grin at the thought of the polite knock on the door they'll be getting*

[dragon-prince.livejournal.com]

hopefuly there is no structural damage to the house.

that you peter and the cats /animals are all ok is a bonus..

keep us all updated

At least you hadn't planted the apple tree

[kelvix.livejournal.com]

The noise of them hitting the house did not wake you?

I'm so pleased no-one was hurt - something travelling with that amount of momentum and lack of directional control could have done so much worse.

Thinking about it, if I had heard something collide into my house in the middle of the night, I might not have investigated, in case the driver was himself dangerous.

I hope they get what they deserve.

Re: At least you hadn't planted the apple tree

[(Anonymous)]

One time I spent the night at my grandparents when I was 4 or 5, and some very drunk driver missed the fact that the road goes from 4 lanes to 2 shortly before the house and somehow* veered across the road into the front (brick) porch directly underneath where I was sleeping. Neither I nor my grandmother woke up. I got up the next morning to bricks and brick pieces everywhere, and my grandfather and uncle already starting the rebuilding process.

So I can totally understand how that small bump, after having already gone through half the county on the way to hitting the house, wouldn't have woken anyone! LOL


* the only unusual thing about a drunk driver missing the road narrowing is that he crossed the road to hit the house. I can't even count the number of them who missed it and simply slammed into the telephone pole on that side of the street. The electric company eventually moved the pole back- TWICE- because it would be hit at least twice a year. It's now well off the street in an empty lot now, and hasn't been hit in years.

[idonotlikepeas]

Clearly the work of a master criminal. Perhaps next he'll break into the house and leave his wallet behind.

[cee-m.livejournal.com]

Oh how I love that. People are seriously special!

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry about the damage, but HEEE to the last two lines.

[anamin.livejournal.com]

Grissom would be so proud.

[ffutures.livejournal.com]

Pillock! Driving away never makes things better, it just ensures that the cops will take an interest.