dianeduane: (Default)
[personal profile] dianeduane

Or, "The fear of death in literature."

A British book retailer plans to set up a counseling hotline for all heartbroken fans of Harry Potter, in case he dies in the much awaited next book.

As a former psychiatric professional, I can kind of see the point.  ...But I do start wondering, sometimes... Are human beings actually less robust, more fragile, than they used to be -- or are we just being encouraged to believe we are? 

And I remember clearly the resilience and fortitude of my younger patients as compared to the so-called "adults". The kids were endlessly more pragmatic and better at handling pain than the grownups. Any bets on the percentage of over-eighteens who wind up being counseled, as opposed to the under-eighteens?...

Date: 2007-02-05 06:10 pm (UTC)
ailbhe: (Default)
From: [personal profile] ailbhe
My parents didn't tell this kind of lie either but I knew people who were subjected to it personally, so it was a bit more immediate than popular culture. It gave me a lasting distaste for phrases like "passed away".

Date: 2007-02-06 02:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wondergecko.livejournal.com
Now, while I generally agree with you, I am led to ask (perhaps because having written tens of philosophy papers in the last year has left me with an instinct for playing the devil's advocate), do you really think--based on your experience--that this kind of deception has a truly deleterious effect on children, or that it's just unpleasant on the same grounds that any kind of lie or prevarication is? Because while I'm fairly certain it's unpleasant for a kid to grow up and realize that they'd been misled on this kind of thing (albeit "passed away"/"passed" is so widespread a euphemism I'd question whether or not it's truly misleading--even if kids who are, say, six don't get it NOW it will probably click eventually), I'm not sure it's cruel to the degree you mention in your first comment.

I'm all for telling the truth to kids, but this has to take into account their relative mental maturity (i.e., would "died" even make sense without explanation?) and possibly emotional sensitivities. While saying "your dog ran away" is an outright lie, saying s/he "passed away" doesn't seem particularly odious to me. The second phrasing still gives the same kind of closure died would, and so far as I can tell, other than the moral weight assigned to truth-telling/lying, that's the only difference between the two--both imply the dog is gone, but one makes it clear the dog is not coming back.

Gah. *slaps herself* Too much philosopher-brain.

Date: 2007-02-06 04:02 pm (UTC)
ailbhe: (Default)
From: [personal profile] ailbhe
If the child understands that it *means* death, not coming back any more, then no, I don't think it's harmful. But often they don't. Children's books deal with death - Babar is the most upsetting one I've seen aimed at 2-3 year olds - and in general the word used is "dead." The permanence and reality still need explanation, of course, but the basics are clear.

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