Meanwhile, back at the gossip mill

[dianeduane]

I now have a personal referent for the phrase "horrified fascination". It's the inability to stop watching this unfold.

The latest developments:

Haha, I'm partying with Paris and you're not.

Boo hoo. Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I'm gonna go eat worms. (Noises off: "Yes, you're right, we all hate you, just STFU.") Also: Im sorry, I luv u, pls tk me bak...

No way. What do I need you for? I'm so important I can show everybody my crotch. Repeatedly. And I'm gonna have a big important show in Las Vegas. And I'm gonna go there for New Year's and be the star of a big party in the club where you recorded your last flop, and you're so not invited. AND I'm gonna be the hostess of the Billboard awards with Paris. NYAH NYAH!

(However: inferred but not yet confirmed -- Britney gets wind of something that Paris has supposedly said about her. And immediately thereafter:)

And I thought you were my friend! So I'm not doing the Billboards, and you can just stand there and be host all by yourself and everybody'll know why, you traitor. Take that!

(headclutch) Dear Goddess, it's like watching a train wreck. It just keeps... on... going... It can't get worse than this, really it can't.

(waits in a resigned manner for the world to prove her wrong)

Comments

[cjmr.livejournal.com]

Thanks for reading all this nonsense and distilling it with your usual style and flair (so I don't have to waste my time reading the tabloids).

[filkerdave.livejournal.com]

Just turn away. You know you can do it, you really can.

That or I expect a book to come out of this. So You Want to be a Gossip Columnist? anyone?

[raisedbymoogles.livejournal.com]

This is why I stay the hell away from entertainment media.

[wetdryvac.livejournal.com]

*boggles*

*sits down to write a song about it, but ends up with rhymes so crass as to result in never watching baseball again*

*goes back to work*

[black13.livejournal.com]

One day, this will actually be important.

Until then, that's what passes for entertainment these days.

Britney Spears's crotch... passing for entertainment. Sad days.

Except for Federline. He's probably happy how she helps his case in the divorce.

Gods. That sounds as if I were actually thinking about it. Better go back to the novel, before I lose any more IQ points.

[robotech-master.livejournal.com]

The truly sad thing is that her crotch is probably more entertaining by a factor of ten than her singing.

[wednesday]

Sorry. It's also an unremarkable vulva.

[robotech-master.livejournal.com]

Which nonetheless changes not by one whit the truth of what I wrote.

[wednesday]

But my point was that the vulva was equal to the music, while your point was that the vulva was more fascinating than the music.

I'm confused now.

[robotech-master.livejournal.com]

My point is that the music is so incredibly banal that no matter how ordinary the vulva, it will still be more interesting than the music. After all, it's exposed relatively less frequently.

[wednesday]

This must be one of those personal taste things. Lack of frequent exposure did not, IMO, make that vulva even remotely more engaging than the oeuvre. It was just there. The shaving made it even worse, because then there wasn't anything ornamental to catch the eye.

Overproduced, overpolished vulva. It's about the same.

[yrena.livejournal.com]

This is quite amusing, although I'm rather disturbed that Britney and Annette (both Mouseketeers at one point) have something more in common... The blatant lies about their age.

Mirror.co.uk has Britney listed as 24.. which, unless I'm suddenly 17/18 again, there is no way of that being true.
I distinctly remember her being cited as 17 in a magazine article.. when I was 12, and THAT was nearly ten years ago.
Britney is going to claim that she's younger than I am someday.

[shmuel.livejournal.com]

Actually, her age is very definitely on record, and has been consistent. She'll be turning 25 next week, on December 2nd. She was 17 for her infamous Rolling Stone appearance (http://www.rollingstone.com/artists/britneyspears/photos/collection/photo/75/large) in 1999.

[cjmr.livejournal.com]

Wikipedia has her listed as 24, also. But she'll be 25 on Saturday. Twenty-four makes her 14 when she finished her run on the Mickey Mouse Club, and 17-ish when she released her debut album--which was in fact nearly 10 years ago (1998).

[siliconshaman.livejournal.com]

What's worse is that I know there are people out there, supposidly normal, sane, adult people who aren't celebraties stoned out of their brains on the nose-candy, who think that this is the sort of life to lead... who actually look up to these infantilised brats as role models!

They're usually the sort that obcessivly watch soap operas like Eastenders and send flowers to the hospital when something inevitably happens to one of the characters.

And they say D&D is a bad influence and gamers can't tell fantasy from reality.. yeesh!

[batyatoon]

It can't get worse than this, really it can't.

Nothing can stop us now! The enemy can't possibly hit us at this range! This'll be the best Christmas ever!

Excuse me, I have to run down to the nearest theatre and jump up and down on the weakest part of the stage chanting MACBETH MACBETH MACBETH at the top of my lungs.

*skips off merrily*

[barberio.livejournal.com]

I vote for a Big Brother celebrity edition where they put these people in a bunker, then cement shut the entrances.

[wyldemusick.livejournal.com]

It can get worse. And very probably will.

And in the end the overall reaction will be along the lines of, "Well, that wasn't really all that interesting was it?"

Give Britney a couple of years and she'll be doing the spread in Penthouse or Hustler. She isn't quite at the Playboy level of interest, I think.

[lunza.livejournal.com]

Pity me. I am forced to keep track of this. I work for a newspaper and K. Fed. comes from a nearby town.

Please let us not discuss why newspapers care about this shit. I don't agree with it; unfortunately, I'm not making the decisions.

[dewline.livejournal.com]

You poor devil. :-(

[madfilkentist]

Sorry, what is this all about?

On second thought, don't tell me.

[syberghost.livejournal.com]

Now I'm going to give you the truly awful part. First, please grab some duct tape and wrap your head up very tightly, lest it explode. I'll wait.

...


...ok, back? Good.

These three women are the role models of millions of today's young girls. This is what happens when for 40 years we teach people that moral choices are your own business and nobody else's. Were we to start trying to fix this today, and work very very hard at it, it wouldn't be fixed until after you and I are dead and buried. It will be like this for the rest of our lives.

[handworn.livejournal.com]

Wow. I thought part of the point of living in rural Ireland was to get away from that stuff. Or at least one of the perqs.

[wolf-moonshadow.livejournal.com]

*runs and hides*

*peeks about* Eek they're still there!

*buries head in sand*

[azurelunatic]

Thank you for condensing it in a manner such that I don't have to go searching for information when someone mentions it in casual conversation. Now I can appear reasonably well-informed without actually reading anything in-depth about it.

[tenderhooligan.livejournal.com]

Here from miss_next. These are indeed wonderfil synopses of this poor tramp's recent affairs. I've been keeping up with the panty-less stories myself (behind my metaphorical cushion) and I'm rather eager to see just what will happen next.