Some of the fan mail that comes in is a shade less polite than the rest: here's today's example

[dianeduane]

So I start going through the email and find one waiting for me that has no topic, no salutation, and the very first sentence is as follows:

First off i would like Diane Duane to respond not some hired help.

Then a critique of some timeline issues in the YW books ensues, in a rather brusque and cranky tone. The mail then ends like this:

Respond or I will send an email a week for as long as it takes to get your attention.

And that's it: signature, but no "thanks for your time" or anything of the kind. (eyeroll) Sorry, [name omitted]. The Lady Mevrian and I are of one mind in this regard: "patience only and courtesy shall get good of me", especially when somebody's work day looks like mine.* So [name omitted] gets one of the form letters which my long-suffering part-time assistant composed.

I resisted that kind of thing for as long as I could. But it got to a point -- what with the artless and delightful emails and letters from ten-year-olds looking for help with their school projects, the twelve-year-olds who want me to write their essays on Deep Wizardry for them (or, in some cases, instruct me to tell them where they can find the Cliff Notes online, and hurry up about it, because they need it for today, for something at school), the older fanficcers who want me to read their YW fic and [approve it / critique it / include it in the next YW novel], and many other similar kinds of query -- that I was spending whole mornings dealing with the e-correspondence alone, and we had to pull together some kind of FAQ or canned response for messages like this. (Paper letters always get answered. But the sheer volume of the emails is just too great these days -- routinely ten or twenty such messages each day, on the average.)

As regards this particular guy's query: yes indeed, there are timeline issues in the YW series, especially as regards the ages of the characters. For some of them, I accept responsibility: occasionally a writer can get confused, especially while transiting a series from one publisher to another. Other hiccups (especially in earlier volumes) are errors in copyediting where things got "fixed" for me and I didn't catch them in time to fix them back. (One notable example of this kind of thing: the book where Kit's last name is spelled all the way through with a terminal "s" instead of a "z".)

There's at least one online attempt to reconcile / make sense of the timeline (and document the parts that already make sense) -- the YW timeline and miscellany page run by one of our YW discussion forum moderators, the enthusiastic and thoughtful Peter Murray. But the "reconciliation" parts are a stopgap.

Pretty soon now I'm going to be talking to the present publisher about the next three books, and further plans for the series at large; and one thing very much on my mind is tweaking all the age references in the first eight books so that they make sense, and dealing with some other time-related issues to iron out various other difficulties. Obviously this is going to mean resetting the type on some, if not all, of the early volumes: which runs into money. We'll see what the publisher has to say.

Meanwhile, time to get another cup of tea and dig out that form letter...

*And if someone would tell me what a scan of The Worm Ourobouros is doing in the Sacred Texts website, I'd be grateful. Not that I mind, particularly. (Apropos of nothing: the Sacred Texts pages link to a fairly recent map of the world of The Worm, which is useful if [like me] you sometimes have trouble getting to grips with the geography there.)

Comments

[ursulav.livejournal.com]

*grin* You ever get the people who inform you that (insert mythical creature here) AREN'T LIKE THAT, DAMNIT, YOU PHILISTINE!!!?

It may be more of an art thing, but in the days when I painted dragons more frequently than I do, I was averaging at least one a month. And they'd get so indignant!

Those were always my favorites...

[genmaicha.livejournal.com]

Wow. And here it takes me a rather considerable amount of courage to even drop this comment. 'Course, I'm one of those anxious people who worries too much about bothering others and is almost too polite in the process. Still, what possesses some people to be so point-blank rude when they're asking for something?

[dduane.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah. With variations: I get: "wands aren't like that!" (well, maybe they are in somebody else's universe -- usually JKR's -- but not in mine); "magic doesn't work like that" (ditto); etc etc etc. And yes, they're usually indignant! How dare I be so ignorant about stuff that everybody knows!! How dare I mislead the world on [fill in the detail] for nearly twenty years when just five years ago JKR told us.. (yet more etc etc etc.) :)

It gives me the giggles, I tell you.

[dduane.livejournal.com]

I would be tempted to say that this is just another of the examples of how the Intarwebz Are Making Us All Ruder. We don't yet have a word for "an inaccurate sense of over-entitlement", but that would seem to be what a lot of these folks are exhibiting.

Sometimes it just boils down to thoughtlessness on the mailer's part, or unconsciousness about how they "sound" in print. But sometimes it's just "I want this *now*, and you're here to give it to me! Get on with it!" Which can be annoying.

Then again, maybe it's because -- since one of my books can be bought in stores -- I'm seen as a part of the service economy. As "customer support." :)

Well, service can be a very high level of operation, when it's conducted properly. But "support"? I don't think I signed up for that. (resigned look) Question is, will this kind of person ever believe that?...

[dduane.livejournal.com]

(grin) Run with it.

But the time issues do have to be handled. This upcoming period, when we start setting up for the next three books and making other plans (a possible print version of the Errantry Concordance, (http://www.youngwizards.com/Errantry_Concordance) other such things..) is the perfect time to get it all handled.

[bellinghman.livejournal.com]

Can I point out that you have both got the Transcendent Pig wrong?

Ka-ching!

[dduane.livejournal.com]

(eyebrows up) "Wrong?" In what way, exactly?

[bellinghman.livejournal.com]

Have you ever thought of selling a Maintenance Plan? it's a wonder for those of us who do have to worry about customer support. "You're not on maintenance? Oh, I'm sorry, I'll see what I can do, but I can't guarantee anything."

(Actually, the Concordance would count as better customer support than some vendors provide.)

[gearworld.livejournal.com]

And I want fries with that book! And a small coke!

[ursulav.livejournal.com]

*grumble* That minor witticism was me. One of these days I'll remember to switch my log-ins...

[dduane.livejournal.com]

(snicker) But that's one of its purposes. The Concordance is just a very large FAQ. With pictures.

[dduane.livejournal.com]

(heh) Meanwhile, I see from the "popular pages listing (http://www.youngwizards.com/ErrantryWiki/index.php/Special:Popularpages) at the Concordance that the pig in question (http://www.youngwizards.com/ErrantryWiki/index.php/Transcendent_Pig) has run straight up to near the top of the popularity listing, beating out even the Biteless Apple, (http://www.youngwizards.com/ErrantryWiki/index.php/Apple_Without_A_Bite%2C_the) the WizPod, (http://www.youngwizards.com/ErrantryWiki/index.php/WizPod), and the Cockatrice (http://www.youngwizards.com/ErrantryWiki/index.php/Cockatrice). This takes some doing!

People really like that pig. :)

[bellinghman.livejournal.com]

"But it's obvious!"

I tease. The TP is your creature. And I've going to assume that Ursula would have been informed if she'd got it wrong. But surely you sometimes get the "You got it wrong" with no explication?

[dduane.livejournal.com]

Heh. :)

[dduane.livejournal.com]

(snort) Peter, behind me, has suddenly read the TP abbreviation *completely* wrongly. With humorous results. :)

And yeah, I get that too. (helpless glance at ceiling)

[bellinghman.livejournal.com]

*laugh*

No, not that TP, Peter. Bad lad.

[dduane.livejournal.com]

He's been making gulaschsuppe all morning, and came into this particular conversation halfway. Just this once I'll cut him some slack. :)

[bellinghman.livejournal.com]

Get him to send some over this way, will you?

Hmm, I do have a lot of paprika, and no fixed idea of what to cook tonight. Where might I find a good online recipé?

[ursulav.livejournal.com]

Well, who doesn't love a mystical pig? Doesn't every young girl spend hours brushing the sparkly hair of My Little Piggy? C'mon!

[dduane.livejournal.com]

He says he's not sure about online sources, but he's typing up what he did, and he'll pass it to me and I'll pass it to you. It came out really well.

[dduane.livejournal.com]

(headclutch) Now *there's* an image. And I bet these pigs have little hearts and whatnot branded on their butts. Oh dear.

[korenwolf.livejournal.com]

*crunch* can I have a new brain please, you broke this one.

[dduane.livejournal.com]

Yes, this *is* getting to be one of those threads, isn't it? Wait till you get a little further down and hit "My Little Piggy". :)

[dduane.livejournal.com]

BTW, let me know when I can link to the Carmela image. (See my note over there.)

BTW, I think you ran into the old 72% / 25% moire' pattern problem with the tones. Reduce by 50%'s and it doesn't seem to come up.

[bellinghman.livejournal.com]

No, the tail, instead of being a normal spiral, is kinked into a heart shape instead.