My favorite of these many rules....

[dianeduane]

for an Evil Overlord:

34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.

 

Comments

[uitlander]

I've always been rather fond of:

50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.

This works equally well for alien spaceships from hitherto unknown civilisations, who all seem rather too easily felled by rather basic Windows viruses.

[dorianegray.livejournal.com]

That's my favourite too. Sensible Evil Overlords obviously use VAX/VMS.

[korenwolf.livejournal.com]

I've not had enough coffee today, I misparsed 2

2. My ventilation ducks will be too small to crawl through.

I now have images of ducks strategically placed throughout the volcano|undersea|castle|skyscraper|mountaintop villa [please select no more than two] frantically flapping. (comment just muttered from over my shoulder) "I don't want to know about crawling through ducks".

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

Aw, that's easy to get around. Here's what you do. You feed the ducks some duck sauce. While they're licking up the sauce, you tape them down with Duck™ tape. Some of them may ignore the sauce, so you need a Plan B — in fact, a duck decoy. These can be bought in the cheaper souvenir shops. You deploy your decoy to divert the ducks and make your way to His Grace, the Grand Duck. Now, not everyone can just walk into the presence of the Grand Duck. You have to be properly induckted into his service. After all, you might be a shady quack dealer. My advice is to present yourself as a poor relation, as His Nabs is keen on feather-bedding. Of course, if all else fails, duck.

[tabbyclaw.livejournal.com]

"Je ne changerai pas d'une serpent. Ca n'aide jamais."

My high school French teacher was quite bemused when my best friend and I asked her to translate that, but she took it in good humor.

[tabbyclaw.livejournal.com]

Oh, and speaking of evil overlords, you might get a kick out of this: http://www.jonathancoulton.com/lyrics/skullcrusher-mountain

[wolf-moonshadow.livejournal.com]

20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

Drat! Guess that means I'll need to limit my Mwahahas.

[diaskeaus.livejournal.com]

That, is excellent. Thanks.

[ffutures.livejournal.com]

9 and 15 are the ones that REALLY screw James Bond.

[angstpuppy.livejournal.com]

Well, it didn't help the Mayor now did it?
/buffyreferense

[ann-totusek.livejournal.com]

If for some strange reason you change your mind regarding this particular bit of wisdom, you should scrupulously avoid eating dinner anywhere in the vicinity of electric blankets...

http://tinyurl.com/lmwag

[carmy-w.livejournal.com]

HA! Or else have your trusted lieutenant also be a vet!

[madfilkentist]

Don't forget the rules for evil counsellors too.

"I will not cringe. It never helps."

[padparadscha.livejournal.com]

Ah, the Evil Overlord List. That brings back memories.

My favorite was always 85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."

[lord-maahes.livejournal.com]

That causes me to remember a friend of mine who based a character on that list and several things she added to it... And also (along with a verbal typo) aided in the creation of the Nearly Impregnable Fortress of Death and Dissemitude. (Yeah, we left he mistake in there, it was too amusing not to.)