This afternoon's big laugh

[dianeduane]

(And so appropriate for the day after we've returned from a week away from home...)

The Table of Condiments that Periodically Go Bad.

Comments

[geekgirlsarah.livejournal.com]

I hope it was your Vegemite that went bad, not your tasty Nutella! =^.^=

It was wonderful to meet you at the con... My partner and I sat and talk with you and Peter on Sunday morning in front of the bar. I hope your trip home went well!

[starcat-jewel.livejournal.com]

Cute! But not quite as funny as my Periodic Table of the Desserts (http://www.tenspeedpress.com/catalog/all/item.php3?id=314) poster, which manages to maintain the proper elemental symbols throughout.

(Aside: I've had this poster for 20 years, have never seen it except the once in the place where I bought it. People have asked me where to find it, and I had no idea. I couldn't believe how easy it was to find someone selling it via Google, when I finally thought to check. Behold the power of the Internet!)

[patgund.livejournal.com]

What, no catsup??

[bellinghman.livejournal.com]

Oh, you're looking for ketchup?

Try K (11: 'ketsup', an interesting compromise spelling)

[patgund.livejournal.com]

Dang, I missed that, (and even looked in the "K"s too. Bother

[bellinghman.livejournal.com]

The odd thing was that I saw it instantly. My eyes went straight to it, really - I've not really glanced at the rest of it yet!

*peruses*

... it's missing Marmite?!

(And no, Vegemite is not Marmite.)

[buran.livejournal.com]

As a science geek, I love it.

Especially since I just threw out a few bad boxes/jars of stuff myself and replaced them.

[lady-autumnstar.livejournal.com]

How can you tell if Vegemite has gone bad? It's nasty when you first open the jar.

[geekgirlsarah.livejournal.com]

I think if it starts to taste like nutella and smell like bleu cheese, that's a good sign! =^.^=

[duskwuff.livejournal.com]

This fellow (http://www.eblong.com/zarf/periodic/) has one, too, with a bit more periodicity.

[schaezen.livejournal.com]

Honey doesn't rightfully belong on this table; they've found honey in tombs that was 3K years old and still unspoiled...

Nevertheless, funny as hell!!

[buran.livejournal.com]

Actually, it does, at least for the household containers. One of the things I threw out was a bottle of honey that had solidified despite the lid being closed and the jar being stored in a cool, dark cabinet.

[cjmr.livejournal.com]

Solidified honey isn't spoiled! All you have to do is heat it up by setting it in some simmering water and it's as good as new.

[buran.livejournal.com]

Oh? Thanks for the tip! I bought some more already, but it's cheap here, so no big deal. However, that will be useful to know next time I run into solidified honey.

[djelibeybi.livejournal.com]

Jelly goes bad??? Dang!

[penprickle.livejournal.com]

Huh, and here I thought peanut butter was immortal.

[frostfox.livejournal.com]

They are missing Marmite but then that doesn't have a sell by date, it has a half life.

FF

[keristor.livejournal.com]

Pure honey should go solid unless it's been treated in some way (some of the blended ones don't, but they've been melted together). I gather the 3kyear honey was solid black but still fine once melted. Something about the amount of sugar being too much for any bacteria to survive (but that may be a myth).

[kengr]

Nope. That's true. That's why Jams and jellies don't spoil either.

You can preserve foods with high salt levels *or* high sugar levels.

Either way, they are still susceptoble to *mold*, but you can handle that with a coating of wax.

Honey tends to have a natural fungicide as well so it's doubly protected.

Oh yeah, the reason that high salt or sugar levels preserve the foods is that osmotic pressure will cause the bacterial cells to suck in all the salt/sugar while pumping out most of the water. This kills them quite thoroughly.

[kengr]

It can get moldy if exposed to air.

[buran.livejournal.com]

It isn't ... trust me on this. (I discovered this the hard way when deciding to make a PB&J sandwich for the first time in a while. yuck!).

[wolf-moonshadow.livejournal.com]

Cheese Wiz? It can't actually go bad because it never was any good.

[schaezen.livejournal.com]

Crystalization does not spoil the honey. Heating the honey can restore it to it's original state, but crystalization is a natural process; all honey crystalizes sooner or later without any impact to the edibility. Honey is one of the few natural foods that will not spoil. Because of its high fructose content and natural antibacterial agents, bacteria cannot survive in honey. As long as honey is kept in a sealed container free of outside moisture, it will keep indefinitely.